It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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