It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
