Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just found puke in my bra..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I AM VODKA MAN
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize