Pappa wants mamma naked
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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