In the future we'll all be gay
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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