Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Come on in and take your pants off
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