Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
