i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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