she woke up with a sticky ear
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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