i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm too high and old for this...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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