Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
