who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
