week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
