nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
