**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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