oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
