We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
