Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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