Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I didn't notice because vodka
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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