I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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