I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize