Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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