..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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