We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
