She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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