This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
