Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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