Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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