my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
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