So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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