Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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