Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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