this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
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I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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