if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
