this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
