I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
