You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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