Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
