"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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