Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
