Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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