I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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