Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
