There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
