My room smells like vodka and shame
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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