I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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