well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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