so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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