dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
