forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
