Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
