at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
