My brain says no but my pants say off.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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