Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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