oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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