Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
