There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
