Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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