last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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