like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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