I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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