Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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