I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
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there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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