Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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